Timeline: 1900-1501 BCE

BEFORE

1900 BCE

  • Zeus (618) seduces and impregnates the human woman Semele. Finding out, Zeus's enraged wife Hera (624) convinces Semele that to prove Zeus's love, she must get him to show her his true form. In another encounter, Semele gets Zeus to promise to give her one wish no matter what, and does so when she asks to see said true form. In his full divine appearance, Semele is obliterated, but her unborn fetus somehow survives long enough to be sewn into Zeus's thigh, where it miraculously gestates.

1899 BCE

  • May 15. The demigod Dionysus is born from the thigh of his father Zeus (619).

1898 BCE

  • Jacob (48) shows clear favoritism to his son Joseph (16), giving him a colorful coat. Joseph then stupidly tells of dreams of oppressing his brothers. Ten of his brothers conspire, and sell him into slavery, apparently to many buyers. Ultimately, Joseph ends up in Egypt.1
  • Joseph ends up serving under an Egyptian named Potipahr and is promoted from slave to head servant.2
  • Births: Toriel (April 23)

1894 BCE

  • The city of Babylon is founded in the Tigris-Euphrates Valley.

1889 BCE

  • Potipahr's horny wife tries to seduce Joseph (25). He runs away from her naked. In revenge, she tells her husband that Joseph raped her. Joseph is thrown in prison.3
  • Joseph starts interpreting dreams, eventually doing so for the court of the Pharaoh Senusret II. Pharaoh invites him into his court after he predicts seven years of bounty and seven years of famine.4

1887 BCE

  • Naboo is admitted to the Galactic Republic.

1883 BCE

  • August 14. Ishmael (137), son of Abraham, dies.5

1882 BCE

  • Jacob (66) sends his ten older sons to Egypt. There they encounter Joseph (32), who screws with their minds. Joseph eventually reveals himself to them, and he forgives them. The whole family packs up and moves to Egypt.6

1876 BCE

  • March 19. A siren comes into existence.

1868 BCE

  • After Yahweh murders Judah's son Er, he demands Er's brother Onan sire a child with Er's wife Tamar. Onan refuses to ejaculate inside his brother's widow, and Yahweh murders him too.7
  • Tamar begins pretending to be a prostitute, and tricks her father-in-law Judah (49) into having sex, wherein she conceives a child. Judah nearly burns her at the stake until he realizes that he is the father of the child.8

1855 BCE

  • Zora, claiming to be a prophet of the great Jabu-Jabu, takes control of the various aquatic races of Hyrule. The people begin calling themselves the Zora as a result, and he is named King Zora I.9

1826 BCE

  • November 26. Isaac (180), son of Abraham dies.10

1816 BCE

  • Yoda (100) becomes a Jedi Master.

1812 BCE

1800 BCE

1799 BCE

  • October 27. Jacob (147), son of Isaac, dies.11

1795 BCE

  • March 20. Joseph (120), son of Jacob, dies.12

1792 BCE

  • Hammurabi (18-19) ascends to become King of Babylon. He founds an Empire.

1762 BCE

  • The Time Lord Doctor ("ninth" incarnation) and the Karkinian Ali (19/17620) travel to the court of Hammurabi (49) to face a Starman. When the Doctor faces execution at the hands of the guards, Ali goes berserk, and attacks the guards. This gives him the chance to ride Ali onto the Starman's back, and send it to another dimension. In the aftermath, Ali violently attacks more guards who are giving the Doctor praise, and the Doctor decides she is too dangerous to travel with him.13

1750 BCE

  • August 21. King Hammurabi (61) of Babylon dies.

1725 BCE

  • March. The Gorgon Medusa (758) conquers the Goddess of Light Palutena's (391) "Angel Land" realm. The adolescent angel Pit (236) sets out on a quest to liberate Angel Land. He defeats Medusa's minions, including Eggplant Wizards, and liberates the land with the use of the Three Sacred Treasures. As a reward for his good deed, Palutena promotes Pit to captain of her guard.14

1718 BCE

  • Dionysus (180) runs into Hephaestus (662), and gets him drunk. He convinces Hephaestus to take his rightful place on Olympus.

1620 BCE

1600 BCE

  • June 24. The Time Lord Baloo is born on Gallifrey.

1598 BCE

  • February 26. Olympian goddesses create the Amazons from reincarnated female souls. They are given the island of Themyscira as their Paradise. The first Amazon, Hippolyta, is named their queen.

1569 BCE

  • February 26. The fourteenth time flash of the Island takes place (originating in 2004), bringing various occupants to this point in the Island's history. Charlotte Lewis (33) succumbs to the stress on her brain made by the time shifts, and dies. With the final time shift, her body remains in this time.
  • February 26. John Locke (48) turns the Island's Wheel, causing the final time shift and the disposition of the various surviving parties.

1543 BCE

  • Births: Aaron (February 5)

1539 BCE

1525 BCE

  • September 7. Moses is born to Jochebed and Amram in Egypt. A Hebrew, he is placed in a basket shortly after birth to save him from a new law, and placed in a tributary of the Nile. He is found by the daughter of the Pharaoh, and is adopted into her family.

1509 BCE

  • The dust-based monsters of the Land of Eagles suffer defeat at the hands of the humans. The monsters are forced underground in the area near Mt. Ebott. Seven human sorcerers seal the monsters in their underground prison, a powerful Barrier preventing egress from within. Gentle King Asgore Dreemurr (422) founds Home, the monsters' new home.15

AFTER

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